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Eulogy
“In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.” ~Albert Schweitzer
I don’t remember the first time I met Dona although in truth I have known her all my life. When I first met Dona, or rather when she first met me I was a premature baby and Dona was a nurse in the Ob ward. I was ill and my parents were very worried, as parents often are in that situation. But Dona, with her usual professionalism and compassion, comforted them. To my parents, who were dealing with it all, this eased a burden that had been very heavy. It meant a great deal and was to be the start of a lifelong friendship between our families.
All of us touch the lives of those around us as we travel our paths. Being good at heart we hope to bring joy and love to our friends and families. But it is the nature of life that often we are unaware of the effect we have on the lives of others.
It is often said that nursing is a vocation and it was one that Dona was ideally suited to. She provided a depth of kindness and professionalism throughout her career, which meant so much to those who came under her care - the mothers (and fathers) and so many children, as they came into the world; with tears, screams and uncertainty about what lay before them.
Dona was part of my life right from the very beginning and as our families became friends a central presence that was as comforting and steadfast as any relative. So much so that I saw her as a second mother. Dona and her husband Bill had known sadness in their own lives a few years before I was born when they lost their son. They took me into their hearts and were kind and generous enough to share their lives with me. As I grew older they kind of adopted me and I have many memories of the trips we took together, to amusement parks, on vacations and many places. Dona and Bill were such caring people and so open with their affection that I felt as loved by them as by my own parents.
Funerals are by nature sad occasions. We mourn the loss of those we have held dear and who found a place in our hearts. The pain feels even the sharper when we loved the person deeply. But funerals are also an opportunity for us to remember that person who shared our lives and made us laugh and smile.
Maya Angelou said:
“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Dona’s family, her friends and all those she cared for will always remember how she made them feel.
When you think of Dona what are the first words that come into your mind? Fun. Energetic. Spunky. Many of us remember her as a lively, effervescent character, the kind of person who made you feel happier just by being with her.
While professionally she was the most caring person you could hope to meet, she knew how to be care-free as well. She embraced life and loved what it had to offer. Those who knew Dona will remember how she loved to drive fast, perhaps a little faster than she should. In fact, her husband Bill came to the sensible realization that it might be safer for her to have a chaperone, to temper her wilder inclinations. I was given the solemn duty to watch over her and report back if she was speeding in her car.
Dona was also a true fashionista with a love of color and energy in her clothes. Her taste in clothes could run to the exotic and it often included animal prints and beading. Not for her the demure pastels and genteel fabrics of a retiring wallflower. She was a lady with presence, one with a good eye for haute couture and an appreciation of the creations of top designers, even those on the pricier end of the scale. She recognized style.
She also recognized the value of a good martini.
If you wanted to find Dona, a safe bet was to look at her local golf club. She had long been a fan of the sport and spent many hours striding across the greens and fairways.
As those who were privileged enough to have known Dona can attest to, she was a real people person. Those who knew her are truly blessed to have had her in their lives. However, Dona in turn also knew that she was very much loved by those around her. The character and strength of people’s love can be seen in their actions and Dona was lucky to have this in her husband Bill, who adored her and knew he had found the spark of his life. Every day he would religiously get up at 5:30 in the morning to heat her car to make sure it would run for her like it was just off the lot and then he would back it out of the garage for her. He never stopped spoiling her and she was the center around which his life revolved. Someone once said, “Every woman deserves a man who looks at her every day like the day he first realized he was in love with her!” I think Dona had that.
Sadly Dona’s husband Bill died about 10 years ago. I know she felt his loss greatly and missed him constantly. In the time since then my relationship with her deepened and our bond became one of friendship. It was a friendship that remained strong even after I moved away. She was and always will be in my heart.
I feel a deep sense of gratitude for having known Dona. She has done so much for me over the years to make me the woman I am today. The lessons she taught me and the example she has shown are ones that I carry with me and hope in turn to pass on to my two girls.
Those we love don't go away, they walk beside us every day. Unseen, unheard, but always near. Still loved, still missed and very dear.
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